Friday, October 08, 2004
A Layer of Bricks
Growing up, our family went to church every Sunday. I mean every Sunday. The ritual unfolded as expected; Dad woke us up at some un-godly hour, my brother and I, using every method we could get into our tired brains to get out of having to go and after 15 minutes of encouragement (screaming) from my parents, packed us into the station wagon and headed to church. We did this every Sunday.
My dad drove; the sons complained; mom filed her nails.
This all changed one Sunday soon after my 16th birthday. I had just earned my driving permit when dad said that I was going to drive the family to church. I was excited about this challenge. I got up early, helped yell at my brother to get ready and flew out to the car to drive to church.
Once we were all packed in, I carefully backed out the station wagon and stopped at the end of the driveway. I didn't know which way to go. I had be a passenger in a car going to the same church for 16 years and did not have a clue what to do next. Turn right or left?
Dad?
I will always remember what he told me that day. Very matter-a-factly he said, "You are driving." It was a simple sentence said with the understanding of a parent, and it scared me. I was going to have to get the family to church on my own.
We were late. I made lots of mistakes but we got there. My dad gave me no directions, never hinted which way to go or got impatient.
He let me find my own way.
I use this story often in my teaching and coaching. When I have spent time explaining concepts or methods and it is time for a student or a swimmer to take that scary leap into the unfamiliar. I tell them this story so they know I have not abandon them, but I am just watching them find their own way.
My dad drove; the sons complained; mom filed her nails.
This all changed one Sunday soon after my 16th birthday. I had just earned my driving permit when dad said that I was going to drive the family to church. I was excited about this challenge. I got up early, helped yell at my brother to get ready and flew out to the car to drive to church.
Once we were all packed in, I carefully backed out the station wagon and stopped at the end of the driveway. I didn't know which way to go. I had be a passenger in a car going to the same church for 16 years and did not have a clue what to do next. Turn right or left?
Dad?
I will always remember what he told me that day. Very matter-a-factly he said, "You are driving." It was a simple sentence said with the understanding of a parent, and it scared me. I was going to have to get the family to church on my own.
We were late. I made lots of mistakes but we got there. My dad gave me no directions, never hinted which way to go or got impatient.
He let me find my own way.
I use this story often in my teaching and coaching. When I have spent time explaining concepts or methods and it is time for a student or a swimmer to take that scary leap into the unfamiliar. I tell them this story so they know I have not abandon them, but I am just watching them find their own way.
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Hey Charlie, I really liked your story, thanks! I am going to start telling it to my students too. By the way, I wanted to ask you if you could recommend a good book on pedagogy, kind of an 'Idiot's guide to teaching.' I have spent countless hours learning chemistry, but have only had one short course on how to teach. This course was in Danish when I was new to the land so I'm afraid I missed most of it.
Forcing people to go to church can be good and bad.
Yours, Matt Johnson, msj@kiku.dk
Forcing people to go to church can be good and bad.
Yours, Matt Johnson, msj@kiku.dk
# posted by 
: October 9, 2004 at 2:49 AM
: October 9, 2004 at 2:49 AM
Matt
Thanks for the comments (Charlie here using a different computer and therefore an Anonymous user). Your comment about forcing people to go to church can be a good and bad thing really has me thinking.
A lot is gained by forcing your children to go to church. They get something in return, community. I hated going to church but I always felt a connection to the people and the building.
Trying to force people to believe something is a bad thing. The best we can hope for is that our children make choices based on a picture we have help create.
It scares the shit out of me.
Thanks for the comments (Charlie here using a different computer and therefore an Anonymous user). Your comment about forcing people to go to church can be a good and bad thing really has me thinking.
A lot is gained by forcing your children to go to church. They get something in return, community. I hated going to church but I always felt a connection to the people and the building.
Trying to force people to believe something is a bad thing. The best we can hope for is that our children make choices based on a picture we have help create.
It scares the shit out of me.
# posted by : October 9, 2004 at 10:02 AM
: October 9, 2004 at 10:02 AM
Have you read Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies? It's a collection of her personal essays revolving around her faith, and many of them include her experiences as a single mom raising her son Sam. She has a great piece about why she makes her son go to church--I think you'd like it.
I like Lamott because she's brutally honest, no sweet senitmentalty there. She also wrote an amazingly honest book called "Operating Instructions" about her son's first year. She writes about, for instance, the violent impulses she felt toward her baby son when he wouldn't stop crying at 3 a.m. And because she's so honest about the shit side of life and of herself, she can write about grace and faith with--for me--full credentials.
I like Lamott because she's brutally honest, no sweet senitmentalty there. She also wrote an amazingly honest book called "Operating Instructions" about her son's first year. She writes about, for instance, the violent impulses she felt toward her baby son when he wouldn't stop crying at 3 a.m. And because she's so honest about the shit side of life and of herself, she can write about grace and faith with--for me--full credentials.
# posted by : October 10, 2004 at 10:13 AM
: October 10, 2004 at 10:13 AM
Nice recomendations, thanks. I will most definately read them.
Matt, I read a great article about teaching that you would enjoy. It was in the May 10, 2004 NEW YORKER called "Last of the Metrozoids" by Adam Gopnik. The story explains the importance to break things down and then to rebuild them. He teaches art and football.
I have the article and if you can't find it on-line and want me to send it to you just drop me your address.
Matt, I read a great article about teaching that you would enjoy. It was in the May 10, 2004 NEW YORKER called "Last of the Metrozoids" by Adam Gopnik. The story explains the importance to break things down and then to rebuild them. He teaches art and football.
I have the article and if you can't find it on-line and want me to send it to you just drop me your address.
Hey, Matt here.
Right, I liked the sense of community in my Dad's church, seeing a cross section of the community gathering for a common cause.
I didn't like being a teenager and Mom making me go to church to keep up appearances. What I thought didn't matter, what mattered was that the church see that the minister had a good family. Keep up appearances for the family business...
I remember just some parts of my Dad's sermons, like one about using the last water in your canteen to prime the pump (wet the leather seals) to get more water. Also he wanted me to be a priest but that was not what I wanted. He would lead me-- talking about getting a calling, telling me how the question was, was I good ground for the seed to be falling on?
Thanks for the link to 'Real Live Minister,' I got a lot out of his story.
Right, I liked the sense of community in my Dad's church, seeing a cross section of the community gathering for a common cause.
I didn't like being a teenager and Mom making me go to church to keep up appearances. What I thought didn't matter, what mattered was that the church see that the minister had a good family. Keep up appearances for the family business...
I remember just some parts of my Dad's sermons, like one about using the last water in your canteen to prime the pump (wet the leather seals) to get more water. Also he wanted me to be a priest but that was not what I wanted. He would lead me-- talking about getting a calling, telling me how the question was, was I good ground for the seed to be falling on?
Thanks for the link to 'Real Live Minister,' I got a lot out of his story.
# posted by : October 11, 2004 at 2:21 AM
: October 11, 2004 at 2:21 AM
Matt, Real Live Preacher had an on-line book signing at the store my mother works at. She is very good friends with the author.
I also am reading a very good book that is indirectly about teaching that you may like. "Reading Lolita in Tehran" is a memoir of books but shows a great teacher and her relationship with her students as well as the culture in Iran. I love the book. The section on Gatsby shows several great teaching moments.
I also am reading a very good book that is indirectly about teaching that you may like. "Reading Lolita in Tehran" is a memoir of books but shows a great teacher and her relationship with her students as well as the culture in Iran. I love the book. The section on Gatsby shows several great teaching moments.
Donuts and coffee worked for me.
That is a great question. How can I get my kids to want to go to church? The same way we get them to brush their teeth? That if they don't they will suffer? I don't know.
I do know that I have not been to church in about 2 months. I feel the need to go.
That is a great question. How can I get my kids to want to go to church? The same way we get them to brush their teeth? That if they don't they will suffer? I don't know.
I do know that I have not been to church in about 2 months. I feel the need to go.
Charlie, I notice that you haven't told me to read 'Pedagogy 101' or to memorize Blooms Taxonomy of Educational Objectives or anything like that. Rather, if I understand this right, the essence of teaching seems to be based on human experience, literature, people. i'm glad then because those are the things I have been basing my teaching on-- like my High School math teacher Christ Kristo, an Albanian refugee who held us to a high standard and said that it was good to be confused, that we should immerse ourselves to the point of confusion and then start looking for patterns.
Regarding church, I love talking about religion with my son, if he asks about Noah's ark or what happens to us after we die. Once he said that when he was sad he thought about Jesus and that made him happy. But I let him drive the process. Its because I had too many people telling me what I should be thinking and believing when I was a kid.
Thanks for your blog!
Yours, Matt
Regarding church, I love talking about religion with my son, if he asks about Noah's ark or what happens to us after we die. Once he said that when he was sad he thought about Jesus and that made him happy. But I let him drive the process. Its because I had too many people telling me what I should be thinking and believing when I was a kid.
Thanks for your blog!
Yours, Matt
# posted by : October 11, 2004 at 2:06 PM
: October 11, 2004 at 2:06 PM
Matt, I like what you remember about your math teacher. I believe finding patterns is the essance of mathematics. I also believe one needs to find their own patterns to understand what the hell is going on. A teacher, parent can do alot to help someone find their way.
She has know he was the Real Live Preacher for a long time. She knew before he came out. He was a customer where she works and they became friends. My mother is very observant and she figured out from his references on-line and from conversations they had.
I really liked the New Yorker story about the coach of the Metrozoids. Break it down, and then build it up. Also, there is no need to give people a pep talk-- at least the students I see want to learn, are ready and eager to learn and show what they can do, just if you give them a decent chance.
-Matt J.
-Matt J.
# posted by : October 16, 2004 at 2:30 PM
: October 16, 2004 at 2:30 PM
I am glad you liked the article. Very touching.
I agree about pep talks. Maybe I'm not good at giving them but they are rarely effective.
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I agree about pep talks. Maybe I'm not good at giving them but they are rarely effective.
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