Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Blogging
I am finding so much pleasure in writing my blog. I find myself thinking about what I am going to write next.
I remember reading an introduction to a book by Kurt Vonnegut and he talked about creative writing. He gave many rules, one being that every writer needs to write for someone.
I think my blog is who I am writing for.
I remember reading an introduction to a book by Kurt Vonnegut and he talked about creative writing. He gave many rules, one being that every writer needs to write for someone.
I think my blog is who I am writing for.
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Traveling with Mike
The journey home from vacationing in Colorado includes an hour and a half van ride to the airport, checking in bags, boarding the plane, a two hour flight, calling for a ride home, one hour drive home which includes dropping Matt off at his home before heading home, unpacking, and if god wills it, sleep.
This is difficult without children, but it is almost unimaginable with three kids, one of which is Michael. Michael is two in every sense of the word. He is head strong, loud, and in the process of potty training.
The van ride to the airport was difficult. All the boys wanted attention so were making as much noise possible to get it. At one point, seeing I was about to explode, Sarah told me to wait eight minutes before I turned around. Time seemed to stop, I bit my tongue, I tasted blood and the clock stood still. I don't know how I made it 8 minutes but I did and almost magically the roaring from the back seat quieted.
We checked our bags and entered the airport. We were hungry and already tired but there was a line, and I'm not lieing, the length we just drove. We waited 55 minutes to pass through security that made us all take off our shoes. I hate taking my shoes off; Sarah makes me wait until all lights are out at home before she will let me take my shoes off.
Our hunger was the next need to be addressed. Nate, Mike, Anthony, and I sat down at a dirty table waiting for Sarah to buy the boys a "Happy Meal". What a terribly misnamed dinner. I think a better name would be "Crappy meal with lame toy". During our feeding, Michael pored his chocolate milk down his shirt. I mean he got his entire shirt. It was soaked. So here is the scene, Mikey is crying, Sarah is swearing holding Mikey at arms length, Ant and Nate are stuffing themselves with some fried food, and I'm throwing every paper napkin I can find at Mike and his pool of chocolate milk. Of course we have no other change of clothing for Mike. Sarah decides to throw away the soaked shirt and replace it with his sweatshirt.
We have 15 minutes before boarding the plane so Sarah suggests we all go use the bathroom. I mentioned that Mike was potty training and the word "Bathroom" must have reminded him he needed to go because he starts peeing. He pees through his diaper, down his pants soaking his socks and filling his shoes. Sensing I can be no help to this situation, I round up the older two boys into the bathroom. When we get out of the bathroom, I see Sarah and Mike. If you know Sarah, you know how hard this was for her; Mike is just wearing a diaper, nothing else, and is running around singing some Raffi medley.
The remainder of the trip was fine. The boys were appropriate, charming, and silly. Sarah looked at me just as we were sitting down and actually smiled in that "We are really going to laugh about this some day" kind of way. I returned her smile thinking I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
This is difficult without children, but it is almost unimaginable with three kids, one of which is Michael. Michael is two in every sense of the word. He is head strong, loud, and in the process of potty training.
The van ride to the airport was difficult. All the boys wanted attention so were making as much noise possible to get it. At one point, seeing I was about to explode, Sarah told me to wait eight minutes before I turned around. Time seemed to stop, I bit my tongue, I tasted blood and the clock stood still. I don't know how I made it 8 minutes but I did and almost magically the roaring from the back seat quieted.
We checked our bags and entered the airport. We were hungry and already tired but there was a line, and I'm not lieing, the length we just drove. We waited 55 minutes to pass through security that made us all take off our shoes. I hate taking my shoes off; Sarah makes me wait until all lights are out at home before she will let me take my shoes off.
Our hunger was the next need to be addressed. Nate, Mike, Anthony, and I sat down at a dirty table waiting for Sarah to buy the boys a "Happy Meal". What a terribly misnamed dinner. I think a better name would be "Crappy meal with lame toy". During our feeding, Michael pored his chocolate milk down his shirt. I mean he got his entire shirt. It was soaked. So here is the scene, Mikey is crying, Sarah is swearing holding Mikey at arms length, Ant and Nate are stuffing themselves with some fried food, and I'm throwing every paper napkin I can find at Mike and his pool of chocolate milk. Of course we have no other change of clothing for Mike. Sarah decides to throw away the soaked shirt and replace it with his sweatshirt.
We have 15 minutes before boarding the plane so Sarah suggests we all go use the bathroom. I mentioned that Mike was potty training and the word "Bathroom" must have reminded him he needed to go because he starts peeing. He pees through his diaper, down his pants soaking his socks and filling his shoes. Sensing I can be no help to this situation, I round up the older two boys into the bathroom. When we get out of the bathroom, I see Sarah and Mike. If you know Sarah, you know how hard this was for her; Mike is just wearing a diaper, nothing else, and is running around singing some Raffi medley.
The remainder of the trip was fine. The boys were appropriate, charming, and silly. Sarah looked at me just as we were sitting down and actually smiled in that "We are really going to laugh about this some day" kind of way. I returned her smile thinking I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Vactation
I flirt with sickness once a year. It is not a little stuffy nose, or slight fever, or itchy throat. It usually holes me up for a month or two with either a fever of 102 and a cough that keeps the entire family awake. During this yearly occurrence, I get little sleep and my body breaks down. I forget what it is like to be well. This is the hardest part, not knowing if or when I will get healthy.
It is amazing how my mind wanders to when I start to write. I was sitting down to write about our vacation and I find myself dwelling on illness. Maybe it was because I saw mountains. The Rocky Mountains demand amazement. As we approached Estes Park, I couldn’t help to imagine what Lewis and Clark were thinking as they approached this mammoth display of nature. I’m sure it wasn’t what was going through my head at that moment; “Wow”, more like what would be going through David’s head when he was facing Goliath, "Oh Fuck". The Rocky Mountains show how superior nature is to man. Looking at them, I couldn’t help but think this enormity could never be captured on film or in a story or in a song.
The "YMCA of the Rocky's" provided a great family vacation. The boys always had something to do whether it was YMCA activities such as bubbles, parachute games, "Bugs, Bugs, Bugs" or if it was just activities around the center like Putt-Putt-Golf, horseback riding, fishing, or hiking. We even got to swim on the last day at the pool. We were also in close proximity to the Rocky Mountain National Park, which offered hiking, site seeing, or fishing. We were always busy.
My dad and I even got to go fishing in the national park. We hiked up to Dream Lake that is over 10,000 feet above sea level and fished for cutthroat trout, a trout that was thought extent several years ago but is now thriving in the Rocky Mountain National Park. The trout have blood red strips along the body and gills.
The best part for me was the time I got to spend with my parents. My mother and father graciously invited us to be with them and then pampered us with kindness. I felt, for the first time in a long time; safe, loved, as if all was almost normal.
I guess that is why I was thinking about being sick and having that scared feeling of not knowing when I am going to be well again. This vacation has helped me see that I am going, some day, to feel normal again. That there will be a time when I am not struggling to make sense of things and I will be able to relax and take a deep breath and smile.
It is amazing how my mind wanders to when I start to write. I was sitting down to write about our vacation and I find myself dwelling on illness. Maybe it was because I saw mountains. The Rocky Mountains demand amazement. As we approached Estes Park, I couldn’t help to imagine what Lewis and Clark were thinking as they approached this mammoth display of nature. I’m sure it wasn’t what was going through my head at that moment; “Wow”, more like what would be going through David’s head when he was facing Goliath, "Oh Fuck". The Rocky Mountains show how superior nature is to man. Looking at them, I couldn’t help but think this enormity could never be captured on film or in a story or in a song.
The "YMCA of the Rocky's" provided a great family vacation. The boys always had something to do whether it was YMCA activities such as bubbles, parachute games, "Bugs, Bugs, Bugs" or if it was just activities around the center like Putt-Putt-Golf, horseback riding, fishing, or hiking. We even got to swim on the last day at the pool. We were also in close proximity to the Rocky Mountain National Park, which offered hiking, site seeing, or fishing. We were always busy.
My dad and I even got to go fishing in the national park. We hiked up to Dream Lake that is over 10,000 feet above sea level and fished for cutthroat trout, a trout that was thought extent several years ago but is now thriving in the Rocky Mountain National Park. The trout have blood red strips along the body and gills.
The best part for me was the time I got to spend with my parents. My mother and father graciously invited us to be with them and then pampered us with kindness. I felt, for the first time in a long time; safe, loved, as if all was almost normal.
I guess that is why I was thinking about being sick and having that scared feeling of not knowing when I am going to be well again. This vacation has helped me see that I am going, some day, to feel normal again. That there will be a time when I am not struggling to make sense of things and I will be able to relax and take a deep breath and smile.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Travel Day
We are leaving for the YMCA of the Rockies today.
Here is how each person in our family gets ready for travel:
Sarah: Makes me review every stitch of clothing she has packed for every person. We then have to decide if we should pack 3 or 4 shirts per person. I don't care but I must some how act as if this is the most important thing happening or I will have to pay for it the rest of the trip.
Anthony: Torments his brothers until they cry. He must sense the stress his parents are going through reviewing the clothing.
Nathaniel: After being sent to his room for hitting Anthony. DISTROYS his room by pulling all his drawers out, pulling all the sheets off his bed, and dumping all his toys into the middle of his room.
Michael: Wake up sick as a dog.
Charlie: Try to keep everyone happy. Joke with Anthony, hug Nathaniel, sing to Michael, and honestly decide if we need 4 or 5 pairs of socks when all I want to do is pack the car and get the hell out of the house.
Here is how each person in our family gets ready for travel:
Sarah: Makes me review every stitch of clothing she has packed for every person. We then have to decide if we should pack 3 or 4 shirts per person. I don't care but I must some how act as if this is the most important thing happening or I will have to pay for it the rest of the trip.
Anthony: Torments his brothers until they cry. He must sense the stress his parents are going through reviewing the clothing.
Nathaniel: After being sent to his room for hitting Anthony. DISTROYS his room by pulling all his drawers out, pulling all the sheets off his bed, and dumping all his toys into the middle of his room.
Michael: Wake up sick as a dog.
Charlie: Try to keep everyone happy. Joke with Anthony, hug Nathaniel, sing to Michael, and honestly decide if we need 4 or 5 pairs of socks when all I want to do is pack the car and get the hell out of the house.
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Do's and Don't of "Lazy-Man" Training
The “Lazy-Man-Triathlon” has been completed. I have learned many things about myself and how I train and I feel it is imperative that I record them so I do not make the same mistakes again.
If it sounds to good to be true, it is a scam! Lazy-Man Triathlon sounded like my cup of tea. Hey, I’m as lazy as anyone I know. I’ve even watched a triathlon on TV. Nevertheless, I can’t tell you how many time I said the lord’s name in vain as I worked on finishing this miss-named event. At several points during bike rides, I elaborately planed ways to wipe the Woodbury YMCA off the face of the earth. Next year, if I find $10, I will give it to the nearest YMCA member and tell them they just dropped it.
I hate running! Although I knew I hated running before going into this, I did not truly appreciate how much. For the first week I ran about 5 miles and I repeated “I HATE RUNNING” with every step. As I got into better shape (this is of course relative) I altered my chant to “1,2,3,4,5, etc.!” When I got up to 60 I would restart. This way I knew when I had run for 30 minutes. Don’t get me wrong. I still hate running, but I just don’t start the “I HATE RUNNING!” chant until 5 hours before I run. This makes for a long night since I run at 5:30 AM.
The Rule of 15! I have developed the “Rule of 15” during a bike ride the other day. I have found, much to my dismay, I have to go back up all hills I go down. What I noticed is that I can go up hills at a speed inversely related (with regards to 15 MPH) to how fast I can go down the hills. An example, if I fly down a hill at 25 MPH (10 MPH over 15 MPH), I have found that I will go up the same hill at 5 MPH (10 MPH under 15 MPH). I have reached the speed of 30 MPH on one hill and after three tries, as my rule states, I had to call Sarah to come pick me up at the bottom. I am too scared to attempt going over 30 MPH for fear that this may adversely effect the US Stock Market.
Never, never, never give up! I have changed this Winston Churchill-ism a little to fit my predicament. Never, never, never leave for a bike ride with the wind. I guess you could call it bad luck but every bike ride I have taken I have left with the wind. I feel fresh and fast and just a little cocky. Each time I think I must finally be in shape because I feel so good. At the half way point, I turn around to find that I am being pushed along by the wind. Nothing is more demoralizing than trying to bike against the wind except maybe biking against the wind when you are 15 miles from home, tired, out of water, and your butt hurts.
Stop and smell the roses! It is true that if you slow down you can notice so much more about what is around you. Instead of driving everywhere; riding your bike, walking, or even running opens your eyes to what would normally fly by the car window without a second thought. Like; listening to the sound of the wind pass through a cornfield, seeing the beauty of the sun breaking through the clouds for the first time that day, smelling the road kill that was thrown into the ditch last week.
Triathlons are bias against swimmers! Swimmers are at huge disadvantage in triathlons. I have prorated three different triathlons based on my speeds and time it would take me to complete each event: Run (12 minute miles), Bike (12 MPH), and Swim (4000 yards per hour).
I’m sorry, but this “Lazy-Man” wants the choice next year and I don’t think even biking against the wind will keep me from doing 13.2 miles!
If it sounds to good to be true, it is a scam! Lazy-Man Triathlon sounded like my cup of tea. Hey, I’m as lazy as anyone I know. I’ve even watched a triathlon on TV. Nevertheless, I can’t tell you how many time I said the lord’s name in vain as I worked on finishing this miss-named event. At several points during bike rides, I elaborately planed ways to wipe the Woodbury YMCA off the face of the earth. Next year, if I find $10, I will give it to the nearest YMCA member and tell them they just dropped it.
I hate running! Although I knew I hated running before going into this, I did not truly appreciate how much. For the first week I ran about 5 miles and I repeated “I HATE RUNNING” with every step. As I got into better shape (this is of course relative) I altered my chant to “1,2,3,4,5, etc.!” When I got up to 60 I would restart. This way I knew when I had run for 30 minutes. Don’t get me wrong. I still hate running, but I just don’t start the “I HATE RUNNING!” chant until 5 hours before I run. This makes for a long night since I run at 5:30 AM.
The Rule of 15! I have developed the “Rule of 15” during a bike ride the other day. I have found, much to my dismay, I have to go back up all hills I go down. What I noticed is that I can go up hills at a speed inversely related (with regards to 15 MPH) to how fast I can go down the hills. An example, if I fly down a hill at 25 MPH (10 MPH over 15 MPH), I have found that I will go up the same hill at 5 MPH (10 MPH under 15 MPH). I have reached the speed of 30 MPH on one hill and after three tries, as my rule states, I had to call Sarah to come pick me up at the bottom. I am too scared to attempt going over 30 MPH for fear that this may adversely effect the US Stock Market.
Never, never, never give up! I have changed this Winston Churchill-ism a little to fit my predicament. Never, never, never leave for a bike ride with the wind. I guess you could call it bad luck but every bike ride I have taken I have left with the wind. I feel fresh and fast and just a little cocky. Each time I think I must finally be in shape because I feel so good. At the half way point, I turn around to find that I am being pushed along by the wind. Nothing is more demoralizing than trying to bike against the wind except maybe biking against the wind when you are 15 miles from home, tired, out of water, and your butt hurts.
Stop and smell the roses! It is true that if you slow down you can notice so much more about what is around you. Instead of driving everywhere; riding your bike, walking, or even running opens your eyes to what would normally fly by the car window without a second thought. Like; listening to the sound of the wind pass through a cornfield, seeing the beauty of the sun breaking through the clouds for the first time that day, smelling the road kill that was thrown into the ditch last week.
Triathlons are bias against swimmers! Swimmers are at huge disadvantage in triathlons. I have prorated three different triathlons based on my speeds and time it would take me to complete each event: Run (12 minute miles), Bike (12 MPH), and Swim (4000 yards per hour).
Running as a gage
Run: 26.2 miles
Bike: 62.4 miles
Swim: 12.2 miles
Biking as a gage
Bike: 112.0 miles
Run: 48.3 miles
Swim: 21.3 miles
Swimming as a gage
Swim: 2.5 miles
Bike: 13.2 miles
Run: 5.5 miles
I’m sorry, but this “Lazy-Man” wants the choice next year and I don’t think even biking against the wind will keep me from doing 13.2 miles!
Monday, July 05, 2004
And the Rockets Red Glare
I am convinced that General Franks visited Cottage Grove before he came up with the idea of "Shock and Awe".
The neighborhood's fireworks display started around 8 AM and was a constant pitter-patter until 9 PM where then the big guns came out. They paused for a city sponsored display at 10 PM but must of felt that the finally did not reach the appropriate conclusion.
You know you are witnessing an amazing sight when your kids, for the first time in their lifetimes, break into spontaneous clapping.
I fell asleep to the "bombs bursting in air" around mid-night.
The neighborhood's fireworks display started around 8 AM and was a constant pitter-patter until 9 PM where then the big guns came out. They paused for a city sponsored display at 10 PM but must of felt that the finally did not reach the appropriate conclusion.
You know you are witnessing an amazing sight when your kids, for the first time in their lifetimes, break into spontaneous clapping.
I fell asleep to the "bombs bursting in air" around mid-night.
Saturday, July 03, 2004
SUMMER SHTICK
(I made this brochure for Andrew and Judith for helping stain the deck. Lots of inside jokes.)
SUMMER SHTICK
CLEANING, STAINING, AND PAINTING DECKS (PLUS A WHOLE LOT OF SHTICK)
We are all about the Shtick!
IS SUMMER SHTICK RIGHT FOR YOU?
Thank you for considering
”Summer Shtick” for all you summer deck needs. When a job must be done, “Summer Shtick” will deliver.
1. We use quality Home Depot paint.
2. We guarantee Charlie will vastly under bid time and amount of paint or stain needed.
3. We have more Shticks than you can throw a stick at!
We can name every song on 92.5 in three notes or less!
BRUSH VS. SPRAY
There is no comparing a brushed look to a sprayed look. “Summer Shtick” refuses to spray – not enough paint sticks that way!
We each have our own sound! Judith: “OOOOOOOh”!, Andrew: “Uhhhh”! Charlie: “Godddd DDDDD”!
ONE COAT VS.TWO
“Summer Shtick” always, always does two coats. No matter how much we want to stop at one coat. We won’t.
We don’t spill (much)!
YOU ARE OUR PRIORITY
We take one job at a time and therefore finish one job at a time. (We treat each deck like our own!)
We won’t take off our shirts!
OTHER PERKS
· Lawyer-in-training on staff to answer any legal questions that may arise!
· Gardening tip given on request!
· Free Mathematics tutoring on request!
We sizzle like bacon! We don’t tan, we burn!
AT FEES YOU CAN AFFORD
YOU WILL get a great deal (remember Charlie underbids!). Plus you won’t have to spend you whole summer staining your deck! WE WILL!
If you want us to, we’ll wear religious t-shirts.
SATISFIED CUSTOMERS
· “’Summer Shtick’ was efficient, thorough, tidy (some what), and extremely cheap. I’d hire them again in 3-6 years!” (Sarah Cauthorn)
· “This is the best stain job that has ever been done on this deck! Thank you ‘Summer Shtick’” (Charlie Cauthorn)
CONTACT US!
Summer shtick wants YOUR business. Call us today to receive a free estimate.
Remember:
1. We are all about the shtick
2. We don’t know how to bid
3. We won’t take off our shirts
SUMMER SHTICK
CLEANING, STAINING, AND PAINTING DECKS (PLUS A WHOLE LOT OF SHTICK)
We are all about the Shtick!
IS SUMMER SHTICK RIGHT FOR YOU?
Thank you for considering
”Summer Shtick” for all you summer deck needs. When a job must be done, “Summer Shtick” will deliver.
1. We use quality Home Depot paint.
2. We guarantee Charlie will vastly under bid time and amount of paint or stain needed.
3. We have more Shticks than you can throw a stick at!
We can name every song on 92.5 in three notes or less!
BRUSH VS. SPRAY
There is no comparing a brushed look to a sprayed look. “Summer Shtick” refuses to spray – not enough paint sticks that way!
We each have our own sound! Judith: “OOOOOOOh”!, Andrew: “Uhhhh”! Charlie: “Godddd DDDDD”!
ONE COAT VS.TWO
“Summer Shtick” always, always does two coats. No matter how much we want to stop at one coat. We won’t.
We don’t spill (much)!
YOU ARE OUR PRIORITY
We take one job at a time and therefore finish one job at a time. (We treat each deck like our own!)
We won’t take off our shirts!
OTHER PERKS
· Lawyer-in-training on staff to answer any legal questions that may arise!
· Gardening tip given on request!
· Free Mathematics tutoring on request!
We sizzle like bacon! We don’t tan, we burn!
AT FEES YOU CAN AFFORD
YOU WILL get a great deal (remember Charlie underbids!). Plus you won’t have to spend you whole summer staining your deck! WE WILL!
If you want us to, we’ll wear religious t-shirts.
SATISFIED CUSTOMERS
· “’Summer Shtick’ was efficient, thorough, tidy (some what), and extremely cheap. I’d hire them again in 3-6 years!” (Sarah Cauthorn)
· “This is the best stain job that has ever been done on this deck! Thank you ‘Summer Shtick’” (Charlie Cauthorn)
CONTACT US!
Summer shtick wants YOUR business. Call us today to receive a free estimate.
Remember:
1. We are all about the shtick
2. We don’t know how to bid
3. We won’t take off our shirts
Friday, July 02, 2004
Our Nate the Great
My parents periodically send Nate the Great books to our family. Though they are very enjoyable and entertaining, our Nate the Great tops Marjorie Weinman Sharmat by far.
1. Nate the Great
2. Nate the Great Goes Undercover
3. Nate the Great and the Lost List
4. Nate the Great and the Phony Clue
5. Nate the Great and the Sticky Case
6. Nate the Great and the Missing Key
7. Nate the Great and the Snowy Trail
8. Nate the Great and the Fishy Prize
9. Nate the Great Stalks Stupidweed
10. Nate the Great and the Boring Beach Bag
11. Nate the Great Goes Down in the Dumps
12. Nate the Great and the Stolen Base
13. Nate the Great and the Mushy Valentine
14. Nate the Great and the Tardy Tortoise
15. Nate the Great Saves the King of Sweden
The other day our Nate, while sitting on my lap, said "Dad, your going bald but I still love you." What really hurt was not that I am going bald (that has been on going for several years!), instead it was the "... but I still love you."
1. Nate the Great
2. Nate the Great Goes Undercover
3. Nate the Great and the Lost List
4. Nate the Great and the Phony Clue
5. Nate the Great and the Sticky Case
6. Nate the Great and the Missing Key
7. Nate the Great and the Snowy Trail
8. Nate the Great and the Fishy Prize
9. Nate the Great Stalks Stupidweed
10. Nate the Great and the Boring Beach Bag
11. Nate the Great Goes Down in the Dumps
12. Nate the Great and the Stolen Base
13. Nate the Great and the Mushy Valentine
14. Nate the Great and the Tardy Tortoise
15. Nate the Great Saves the King of Sweden
The other day our Nate, while sitting on my lap, said "Dad, your going bald but I still love you." What really hurt was not that I am going bald (that has been on going for several years!), instead it was the "... but I still love you."
